I want to share something very personal from my spiritual journey—something that has challenged me to look more deeply at what it actually means to believe God while surrendering my own expectations of how and when He should move.
Last year, I went through a health situation that challenged me in ways I didn’t expect. I walked through it, overcame it, and was grateful to have it behind me.
And then it resurfaced.
I tried to be a good sport about it. I really did.
I prayed.
I stayed hopeful.
I believed God was restoring what needed to be restored.
But when I found myself facing something I thought I had already moved beyond, the pain and frustration began to wear on me. And eventually, I found myself asking:
God, what am I doing wrong spiritually?
That question hit me hard.
Because I believe Him.
I believe in His promises. I believe He restores. I believe He heals. And I believe He is working in my life.
So this wasn't simply about waiting for something to change anymore.
It was about trying to understand why something I thought I had already overcome had returned.
And as I sat with Scripture and sought revelation through the Holy Spirit, I began to ponder that question more deeply.
What I realized was that somewhere along the way, I had attached a timeline to my faith without even realizing it.
I wasn't questioning whether God could restore the situation. I had no question about that.
But somewhere underneath my faith was an expectation that because I believed, prayed, and had already walked through this once, I shouldn't still be dealing with it.
And there is a difference.
Because faith doesn't mean I get to decide when the evidence of God's work should appear—or what the process of that restoration is supposed to look like.
Just because something resurfaced does not mean God stopped working.
And just because I cannot yet see the restoration does not mean restoration isn't already underway.
That changed something in me.
Because maybe gratitude isn't only saying, “Thank You, God,” after the prayer has been answered.
Maybe some of the deepest gratitude is being able to say:
“Thank You, God, while I'm still hurting.
Thank You while I still don't understand.
Thank You before I can see the evidence—because I trust that You are already at work.”
And strangely enough, I am grateful for what this experience is producing in me.
Because each and every time I go through something painful, I am more determined than ever to know His Word, stand on His Word, and stay committed to Him—not only when I see the evidence, but while I'm waiting for it.
Maybe that's part of what faith is asking of us.
Not simply believing God for the outcome...
but trusting Him in the space between the prayer and the evidence.
And if you're in that space right now—questioning yourself, questioning your faith, or struggling because life isn't changing as quickly as you thought it would—you don't have to navigate that inner work alone.
This is the work I do in my coaching.
I help people uncover the beliefs, expectations, and patterns underneath the struggle so they can become more grounded in who they are, what they believe, and how they move through difficult seasons.
If you're ready to go deeper, reach out to me. Let's talk.
Love and grace,
Sandra